A helpful guide

When wondering what you are not supposed to say to adoptive parents, ask yourself this question:

Would you ask the same question if this was their biological child?

For example:

“What if you see the kid and you just don’t feel a connection?”

Now ask yourself- would you ask a pregnant woman this question?  Can you imagine yourself saying, “What if the kid comes out, you see them, and you’re just not feeling it?”  No. Well, at least I hope not.


Doctor, I’m just not feeling it. Send him back.

“What if it doesn’t work out once you get him home?”

Think about the look you’d get from a new mom leaving a hospital if you asked her that question. Yeah, you’re going to get that look from me.


“What if he has developmental delays?”

Does having a biological child immediately exclude them from having delays?  No?  Alrighty then.

“What if he has major medical problems?”  

“Biological kids are totally safe from major medical concerns!” – Said no doctor, ever.


I know, dog. I know.

“How much does/did it cost to get him?”

Have you asked me to present you with a list of my hospital bills from Abi and Jacob’s births? No? I wonder why!


“What if he doesn’t bond with you/what if you don’t bond with him?”

Now this is an excellent question that is asked at baby showers ALL the time! “How are you going to bond with that tiny, screaming wiggly thing that looks like a potato?  Oh, okay! I’m so excited for you.”


I’m not making this book up.

“Why not an American child?”

Why does no one ask me -“why not an American husband?”  Oh, that would be inappropriate?

 I can’t imagine why.


And that is it for today’s helpful post. You’re welcome.



One response to “A helpful guide

  1. Totally agree with every word of this post, but… also have to say – that first picture gave me the seriously heebie jeebies!

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