So it’s come to my attention that I have been relatively quiet on the adoption front as of late. Most of you probably haven’t noticed, just because you’ve been, you know, living your lives, but I have been somewhat subdued recently and there are several reasons why.
For most of the month of April and May, I lived every day expecting the call that ever came. I had a time frame in my mind and I was thinking that by May, we’d be matched with a child. As you all have probably realized, May came and went and we still don’t have a referral. On Tuesday it’ll have been 12 weeks since we were put on the waiting list. Not long in the adoption world, but for the original time frame I was given…yeah, I feel like I’ve been waiting for-ev-er. I feel like I’ve been stuck on adoption island with Wilson.
Does anybody remember the wilson weights for the antennas on your trucks? They used to be sold at blockbuster…and I’ve revealed my age.
As a way of dealing with the wait , I have kind of numbed myself a bit. I get on with my life and try not to constantly think about the adoption. At this point there is nothing to be gained by me thinking about it, other than remembering the fact that I am still waiting. I’ve noticed that when I put it out of my mind, it’s easier. I don’t live on the edge of that diving board anymore, waiting to jump.
I have accepted the fact that this adoption will happen when it is meant to happen. Rainy season is coming up fast in Uganda, and lasts from August 15-October 15. During that time, the courts are closed. In other words, those two months are out for travel. Therefore, it really doesn’t matter if we get a referral today or next month- either way, we won’t be travelling until the Fall. At first it wasn’t easy to get my head around that. There are people with my agency whose timelines have been insanely fast, and they’ll be bringing their kiddos home before the rain comes. It’s been hard to be lapped, I’m not going to lie- at least it was at first. But now I’m starting to see the benefits of travelling in the Fall as opposed to the summer, and in the end, I’ve reconciled myself to this new timeline. It is what it is. It’ hard not to want it NOW, but in the end, I’d rather have them be careful and take their time making sure everything is on the up and up then have them rush everything through in a shady adoption. A good, ethical adoption will make you wait. Now that the initial HOLY CRAP I AM DOING THIS feeling has been tempered, I find myself just living my life and putting adoption in the back of my mind. You know, for my sanity’s sake.
A lot of people ask me how the adoption is going, and all I really have to say is..it’s going. It’s out of my hands, but things are being done and checked and sorted…just not by me. But trust me when I say this-
When I get a referral, you will know about it. Your phones will blow up with texts, your Facebook feed will blow up with my posts…you will be begging me to shut up. You will remember this post and you will reminisce on the good old days when Dena wasn’t constantly talking about her adoption. You see this?
This will be your best friend.
So enjoy this silence, my friends. For however long it lasts.