This is hard. This waiting is hard. Yes, God’s timing might be perfect, but it’s STILL freaking hard. It’s hard to explain the wait to people when you originally told them the adoption would probably be completed by September. It’s hard to keep up the enthusiasm when you have resigned yourself to waiting for much longer than you anticipated. It’s hard to be given one timeline, then another, then another, and have all of them blow over. It’s hard to make plans for the future, or even trips, when you just don’t know when all of this is going to happen. It’s really hard to give an acceptable answer to a 5 year old who really wants a little brother. It’s hard when the 6 month mark on the waiting list is coming up and you originally thought the wait would be 2 months, max. It’s hard to not worry when you see other people struggle with their adoptions and you feel like you might be about to head down a potentially difficult road. It’s hard when people start to second-guess your choice to adopt. It’s hard when I walk up the stairs and I see the adoption art on my wall, bought when I was wrapped up in the excitement of it all. When I naively believed that this would just be so quick for us. When I really DID believe that we would be in Uganda right now. It’s hard knowing that, before long, we’re going to have to update paperwork that we did almost a year ago. The wait in adoption is HARD. It’s like knowing at some point you’re going to have to jump off a cliff, but you don’t know when it’s going to happen. You have no idea when go-time is. You have no idea how easy it’ll be when it IS go time. I’m even running out of explanations when people ask what the hold up is.
“There are SO many orphans in Africa, why are you having to wait this long?” What do I say to that? It’s not like we’re going to pick up the rotten apples under the bottom of a tree. This is a process, and how long and drawn out it is has everything to do with said process. Recently some of the rules have been changed, and new judges have been appointed. Contacts have been slow. Rainy season just ended. Info is hard to get in remote areas. Adoption agency is establishing contacts elsewhere. But I honestly don’t have the energy to explain all of this half the time. Sometimes the term “orphan” isn’t so cut and dry. Sometimes there is extended family involved, and they have to terminate rights. Sometimes there is no known extended family, but you have to worry about someone showing up at the last minute. Adoption, domestic or international, can be messy. It can be slow. It can make you wait. It usually does.
In the end, it will be worth it. One day, whether it be several months or this week, I’ll get that call that I’ve started believing will never come. There will be a face, and there will be a name, and this ball will start rolling again. I’ll post updates, I’ll be looking at adoption wall art again, I’ll be checking out books about Africa at the library. But until then, no news is just that- no news. No, the adoption hasn’t fallen through. No, we haven’t secretly gotten a referral and we’re keeping it from you. Yes, we’re still adopting a child from Uganda.
That kind of comforts me and makes me crazy at the same time.
Pray for those friends of mine whose adoptions are being held up by forces beyond their control. Prayers for us would be appreciated as well. Hopefully the next update will be a BIG one.